I miss you!

If anyone still checks this I miss you all and would to love to read about your lives.

the one I can't get out of my head

(good song, annoying video)

team shots

michael, maggie, jake, rio, mykaila, tim, morgan, sweetie

matt, jon, alexa, nick

maria, nadja, crystal

stasi

hope everyone eventually makes it for a game, it is SUPER FUN. tuesdays at noon!

a good time was had by all--we followed our awesome game with kidd valley for lunch/shakes.

summer is the bomb

workin

i've been working on a geoduck farm this week! i'm done for a little while (the tides aren't right for another week or so) but i did WORK, holy cow. the best part is i'm getting $10/hr in my pocket for it! awesome. however i am EXTREMELY sore and dirty and sweaty and scraped up and sunburned. geoduck farming was on dirty jobs once... i have yet to watch the episode but i'm gonna download it tomorrow night.

tomorrow i start my internship with teen tix. i'm so excited!!! (it will be mega low key compared to pulling, cleaning, placing, and stomping tubes all day... my back is thanking me)

it's been a weird few days...

getting to spend the past couple days outside working has been perfect to clear my mind.

lots o' love

P.S. come meet my puppy and hang out with me on the beach

amora, amor

i'm loving the new colors. good choice, manquita.

i went on a road trip with my sister to vancouver to visit colleges. we "visited" WWU/fairhaven, UBC, and simon fraser. and by "visited" i mean drove through the campuses and went to get cupcakes instead because it was sleeting and we're lazy. all in all, a pretty successful two days.
we got facials, which hurt, and shitty sushi/ramen, which hurts now. but we had the time of our lives while doing so, so it's totally worth it in my humble opinion.

i'm feeling really good right about now. happy school's out, though i still have to get used to not feeling guilty. painting a lot. driving a lot.

what do you guys say to finding some time for each other this summer? :)

i love you all.

average thursday

Listening to a song entitled "Car Crash" as someone rear ends me on 405....Ironic? I think yes...

the new goofball boy i adore.

STATS

Name: Toby (for now)

Age: 12 weeks

Likes: people, snuggling, dinner, naps, walks, exploring, music, belly rubs

Dislikes: stairs, heights, the middle couch cushion, people getting up in the middle of a snuggle session, harness, teething

Is: precious, clumsy, silly, sweet, devoted (labrador retriever+chesapeake bay retriever+border collie+german shepherd=pretty mutt (: )

Is not: messy, grouchy, boring, loud

is he practically perfect in every way? uh, i think so.

in case you didn't notice

...it's almost summer! (love you Mykaila)

I dont know what to feel about anything right now. All I do know is that I want to make these few months off great. I have high expectations.

wayyyy too high of expectations...

but, don't aim high and you'll never reach the stars, right?

it's almost summer

in case you didn't notice.

i'm celebrating...

HAHAHA SAT CRITICAL READING, HOW DO YA LIKE ME NOW?!?!?!?!?!

junior year, you are not nearly as tough as you think you are

put good things out, get good things in... hello internship, yo?

Ring Ceremony. enough said.

good music

sunshine

love love love love

yeah.

just checking on everyone

how're you all doing?

i have the AP spanish test tomorrow, i'm receiving my horoscope daily, i talk to a nice boy every couple of days (our conversations always end in "i love you honey" "i love you too :))))))))))))))") i really like lentil soup, actually i really just like legumes, the marleys are good calming music the whole family, tension's letting up, i really like chilling at the central public library you know wondering who these people are and what books they're getting and why, might go to an opera at mccaw hall wednesday night but it's more like the dress rehearsal of the world premiere, we'll see...have hella pad thai in my fridge and gluten free pizza on the countertop, yum yum, i enjoy singing a lot and driving myself to school nowadays and getting along and whatnot. i'm too tired to make a longass list but i want to make sure everyone's getting along alright.

i love you all

*lights out*

Hey whoever still reads this
mykaila made me think about you guys today
i made this in class the other day
just to show you guys how special you are
my teacher tried to take this from me and
i shuved it down my pants
i dont just let anyone see me






Tired Of Waking Up

Most days the best part is when I get to go to sleep
And pretend I wont wake up because my tears are held so deep
I have tried to cut them out burn them loose from their roots
But the roots are my soul and instead I lit the fuse
It was gone, with the smile and the life as a child
Now Im here now Im there with my life in single-file
It is hard to accept all the tears that I kept
All the blood that was left on the mattress where I slept
All the tears still wont fall and the knife was getting dull
So I wrote it on the wall that the run was now a crawl
Its not me against the world why am I such a child
I don’t have to fight but it feels quite right
In the darkness fuck the light let me scream in the fright
Let me suffer let me die only I will hear the cries
Of the monster inside me he will never let me be
And I came upon this toll because I found my weak soul
And then I shot it cold until its guilty smile rolled

neverendingmathequation-modestmouse

and would you like it if i put you into my world?

how did i talk to you for four hours last night? how did you keep me laughing?
how am i alive right now?

holy crap. i am way too happy.


Make Love All Night Long by TV On The Radio. My current favorite song.
listen here.


love!!!

swimming pool

...you can always tell when you've had a rough day when even listening to The Submarines doesn't make you smile.

Mykaila, Olivia- your lists made me feel a little bit better about everything. thank you.

you all are so beautiful and i love you! stay happy, and don't you ever change.

inspired by mykaila

a list of good things, broski

1. just spent 13 days in france. pretty good.
2. drawing mucho, finally
3. boy! hey hey :) this time i caught me a good one.
4. driving!
5. hair's growing out
6. 3 months-plus of un-fried brain cells under my belt
7. reading tons of books
8. stimulating my brain
9. hope
10. STUFF TO DO WITH MY LIFE.

yeah, only good things.

hope everyone's spring break is going well...

good things are happening for me, i kind of need to write them down

1. found a college i adore (lewis & clark in portland)
2. have a boy type of weird thing going on that is full of goodness and laughs
3. received my solo
4. found faith
5. processing some passions
6. the dog search is in full swing
7. i have tons of stuff going on
8. i feel great about myself
9. i'm excited for my future
10. school's going well

ah man! life is so good.

i love starting new projects

a challenge is always nice

as is springtime.
this trimester last year i was:
1. staying with my brother for a month while my parents were in morocco
2. carpooling with alexa in the mornings
3. getting closer to AC
4. going to mossy rock with mykaila
5. getting excited for south africa
6. mentally preparing for people to go to college
7. happy


let's set the bar higher this year, hey? :)

springtime means new blog colors

hope green's okay, if you have other suggestions tell em to me

lots of things don't fit anymore

but some things fit better than ever

announcement!

blogger is un-blocked at school! yay!!

MY SOLO

i'm receiving my solo tomorrow!

read about it here.

i'd love to see you there!

-----------

then read this if you're so inclined

it's hilarious

multiple you's

i like reading my homework to you. the penguin you gave me when you moved into your mom's old house helps me when i cry. you think you can't sing, but i disagree. your cynicism is characteristic and i love it. i admire the hairstuffs you make yourself. i'm sorry your mom lives in south carolina and that you don't want to talk to her. it's hard to tell if your hair is really that blonde. i wish i could make all of your sadness go away. i would like to learn how to be around you again. congratulations on your weight loss. i admire your passion for alaska. thank you for giving me your name at staples, you're cute.
i would like to know you i would like to know you i'm glad i know you thank you for knowing me i wish we knew each other better i'm glad i know you again. i know you. i see you.
te veo.
te conozco.
estoy contenta.
te amo.

Let's move to Canada

I watched Bowling for Columbine tonight. It's quite shocking. I don't usually think of America as a violent place, for the most part I think of this as a fairly peaceful nation. We're not. When compared to other first world nations it's shocking. What does that say about us as a culture? Michael Moore compares American gun violence to Canadian gun violence, there are approximately 1000 times MORE gun homicides in the US. Shockingly, Canada owns more per capita guns than Americans do.

I don't usually spend much time thinking about guns. But, watching the movie I recalled summers visiting my grandparents, in nowhere Idaho. Ever since I can remember my grandpa has gone hunting. Being a good, red state, American my grandpa owns several hunting rifles. Both sides of the family have a long legacy as part of the NRA. Last summer, one of my Idaho friends was telling me that and his friends put their guns in the trunk so they can go hunting after school. It reminds me how abnormal our little corner of the country is. SO I have mussed sufficiently and have no conclusion so I am just going to stop.

Here is my favorite quote from the movie:
"If more guns made people safer than America would be one of the safest countries in the world; and, well, it isn't, it's the opposite."

P.S. If you haven't seen it click HERE

You Got A Man, What's Your Man Got To Do With Me

hello public indecency
i haven't spoken to you in a while

but my life is rolling along as usual for march. my hair is longer than it's been since i was nine and i love it mostly, but i've been hating it of late. i've corralled it up in a bun a lot of the time so it's out of my way. perhaps i'll get a tiny trim to clean up the edge, and perhaps when i see those scissors snip the first inch off i'll go temporarily insane and tell the lady holding my hair to cut it all off. i painted my nails pink and it looks weird on my fingers. i took the sat on saturday and i think i did fairly well. i like wearing my mom's old sweaters. i have developed a recent fondness for knock knock jokes. i should read more poetry, i should write less messily. i should stop chewing my lip, but everytime i get nervous or distracted, off it goes and i'm left with small ragged marks. i don't really like country music. my eyebrows are darker than my hair, and my eyelashes are short. i need to drink more water. i love the necklace that i'm wearing right now. my father got it for me in new mexico, and he tries so hard and it is beautiful, yes it is beautiful. i need to be softer on myself, i want to be softer on myself. i've been following every lost road. i'm too normal. i like how my hands look right now. i like how my wrist looks with a watch on it. my eyes are bruised from lack of sleep, but i don't care because i'll sleep in tomorrow. there were only 23 hours in today's day so i'll fall asleep now

i would like to announce

30 lbs lost
i feel good

fuck studying for finals, i'm going to write angry letters

So basically I'm agitating.
I just had a discussion over dinner about the Rwandan genocide which morphed into an angry political discussion which morphed into a burning desire to stir shit up.

I'm overwhelmed with people to write to, but I'm beginning tonight with Patty Murray and Norm Dicks, Murray being the senior US senator from Washington, and Jim McDermott being the representative of the 7th congressional district, which includes the Seattle area. McDermott will probably be pretty up for listening to me, because he's had a longtime interest in healthcare in Africa (used to be in the Peace Corps). Dicks is the new chair of the House's armed service committee and everything has to be run through him before it's decided.

And then I'm moving onto less local, more global people. Covering all my bases, you see. Because it's basically BULLSHIT that no one knows anything about genocide (slash apartheid - must not forget that), even though these huge celebrities are endorsing its demise. It doesn't seem to me that many people know, nor care, if Bono or Billie Joe Armstrong are donating zillions of dollars causes like stopping genocide or AIDS. Because it seems to me that people are not educated. I didn't know shit about apartheid till last May, nor did I know shit about genocide until this year. People just hear these celebrities saying words.
I guess I'll write to educators as well. Head honchos in school systems. I'll see if my father knows anyone; it's easier to get through to people and change things if you know the RIGHT people. Which I kind of grumble at, because anyone should be able to change the world, regardless of this little hierarchy.

Anyway. I know Morgan is writing letters as well hey? TEAM UP!
I would love for everyone on here slash anyone who reads this to join me in writing letters, or at least read up on world affairs and understand the bullshit that goes on. Understand the good and bad things that go on and have gone on. Because that's key to changing things and being a good global citizen; you can't change if you don't know what it was like before, you can't change if you don't know what you're changing, and you can't change anything if you don't know how do deal with it. You have to KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. So regardless of if you end up writing and agitating like I plan to do, just know your shit. Please.

So yeah, that's my shtick. I'm going to talk to Turner tomorrow about who else to speak to, because there are many and I sort of don't know where to go after these representatives.

(i just posted this on facebook btw)

Okay yeah.
Love. I hope this will work.

Roma

Someday I'll be back

(Taylor- beso means kiss)

nothing like an auntie-grandma and her nephew-grandson

photo of the day

some things make bad days that much better

"I hear you're interested in genocide," the American said. "do you know what genocide is?"
I asked him to tell me

"A cheese sandwich," he said "Write it down. Genocide is a cheese sandwich."
I asked him how he figured that

"what does anyone care about a cheese sandwich, cheese sandwich cheese sandwich, who gives a shit? Crimes against humanity. Where's humanity? Who's humanity? You? Me? Did you see a crime committed against you ? Hey, just a millions Rwandans .
Did you ever hear about the genocide convention?"
I said I had.

"that convention," the American at the bar said, "is makes a nice wrapping for a cheese sandwich." - Phillip Gourevitch

En Un Solo

Lyrics for Taylor (liberally translated to make sense in english)
Sitting in the back of the bar
I shyly invite you to dance
you smile as you accept
we dance bachata, merengue, bolero
speaking softly colliding bodies
cupid is shooting arrows eh eh
End the party everyone went home
I'm going with your face pressed into the soul
and I don't know you well and I start to wonder.

It seems that I falling love with you in one day
I'm missing you and it feels like years that I've known you
It seems that in one dance I gave you my life,

this is a very very very good thing

i would like all of you to listen to this song, especially morgan... it is a good "shittiness barrier" song (by shittiness barrier i mean your theory of things can only get so bad before they get better... this song isn't necessarily a version of that, it's just... it works. go with it.)

it is beautiful

another catharsis song, perhaps

"You put your heart out there like that, it's liable to just turn into this blackened carbon brick in a barbecue sauce of shame and rage. And two hot people with a perfect relationship would not understand that."

pop perfection

:)

i can't stop listening to it.

"everyone wins"

i love!

right now, i wish i could follow you.

the mykaila and greta song:

i miss her more than i could have ever expected to

say you're sorry, i can take it

********************

all in all it wasn't bad, all in all it wasn't good, but i still care

that's the problem with the days, they're never long enough to say what it is you never said

although a tear may be ever so, that's the time you must keep on trying

such a beautiful song.
smile by robert downey jr. i love him.

in other news, i just spent an hour plus failing my math midterm.

and. i plan to sell donuts on a beach in barcelona when i graduate.

all the times that i've cried, keeping all the things i knew inside

i've been thinking about catharsis lately.

what a great word... catharsis.

i think it is what it is.

(bankrupt on selling; father and son; all god's angels; that year; goodnight; more; emily; blue jeans and white t-shirts; the con; leave; fake... if you want to know)

there's only 1 thing 2 do, 3 words, 4 youuuu

I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU



I had a dream last night that Cooper commented on my status on Facebook. I've been having SO MANY DREAMS about Facebook and MySpace. WHY? WHY WHY? Can someone interpret that for me? No where I've looked has been able to tell me anything.
Maybe I should just lay off the social networking.

In any case. Love love love.

girl inform me

haven't done a playlist in a while, feast your ears (that sounds weird)

1. leave - the swell season
2. that year - brandi carlile
3. you belong to me - jason wade
4. father & son - cat stevens
5. bankrupt on selling - modest mouse

Top 4 ponderings of tonight

1. I wonder if Fenoli will ever talk about sexuality.
2. Leaving for Utah tomorrow night. (No, not rehab or boarding school. Skiing with the big brudder.) SO PUMPED, CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU HOW PUMPED I AM.
3. Remembering John the Lion and how the music in his car made my blood pump harder.
4. Da boss. Da boss da boss da boss. What a boss.



love.

"Become What You Are"

working on my history paper I came across this definitely worth taking a few min to watch.

my do I love Desmond Tutu !

"If you are responsible for most of the mess you are responsible to clean it up!...If you were able to bale out the banks billions and billions and billions and billions and billions so please just give us a few billion to enable the poor to use alternative fuel. They can't do it if you ask them to pay for it. For your own sakes rich people, for your children's sake, for the sake of our wold, be nice and .. pay up!" - Desmond Tutu

right now

right now is a tough time for me.
i need to remember to take care of me, of numero uno.
but at the same time, i need to repair these relationships that i've fucked over with my buttheadedness over the last year.

for anyone on here who's felt that, i'm sorry guys. i'm working on it.

i love you.

three interesting current events

When Will White People Stop Making Movies Like "Avatar"?
Critics have called alien epic Avatar a version of Dances With Wolves because it's about a white guy going native and becoming a great leader. But Avatar is just the latest sci-fi rehash of an old white guilt fantasy.

Dearborn students' sweatshirts stir outrage, controversy
The sweatshirts show Edsel Ford High School's mascots flying at an “11” made to look like buildings, and were worn by nine students, all of whom are of Arabic decent. (Dearborn Public Schools)

Chinese director's Dalai Lama doc pulled from film festival
Film authorities pulled Lu Chuan's Palm Springs International Film Festival after pressure to toe line